Learn how to stay healthy and happy, together, for a lifetime. Lasting is for all people and adapts your program based on your relationship's Strengths and Growth Areas. Marriage is a lifelong journey. Let Lasting be your guide. Please note: Lasting and the materials and information contained herein are not intended to, and do not constitute, medical, psychological, or mental health advice, or diagnosis, and may not be used for such purposes.
You should always consult with a qualified physician or mental health professional about your specific circumstances.
We love our engineers, and we love expressing appreciation to them. Have you expressed appreciation to your partner today? I really love this app. So often, you have no clue that your partner thinks a certain way.
Emotional Connection has really opened up our responsiveness toward one another, and Conflict has been a total eye-opener. I love the Soft Startup principle, and the elephants are so cute.
I also like Communication and Forgiveness series. All in all, this app is totally worth the monthly cost. I recommend this to every couple out there! So I had a few week long period where I was scared for my marriage pretty bad. I just knew before long it was gonna end. We tried the initial questionnaire thing on the free trial and I knew right then this app was gonna help. I honestly think this app is as good as any professional, licensed counselor. You just have to really want it to work and both of you have to actually be willing to work for it.
This app is amazing! When I stumbled upon it I was skeptical but interested. I downloaded it and tried out the free trial. The positive affects on our relationship are very noticeable despite the fact that we were already in good standing. We will continue to watch our relationship grow and strengthen thanks to this tool. Requires iOS Compatible with iPhone, iPad, and iPod touch. App Store Preview. This app is only available on the App Store for iOS devices. A marriage is like a plant. Put some energy and effort into the relationship, just as you did when you were dating.
Even spending just 10 minutes a day together emotionally connecting will often help when it comes to saving a marriage. This means no television, video games or children during daily connection time. Just being nice to each other often produces surprising results. Goodman Therapy , Valencia, CA. It is a very long journey so you have to pace yourself.
I commonly say you have to jog the marathon and walk the water stations, but keep it moving steadily towards the finish line. Don't be surprised how quickly you can feel disconnected even in a healthy relationship and sometimes it will be right after you believed things were the best they ever were. I compare marriage to a marathon because doing well requires hard work every day. So don't expect things to get better immediately if you and your significant other have not invested the time into the relationship.
That may sound weird but we often fail to think about what we can do for our marriage. We then use that as a justification for us not do good things for our partner. This creates a cycle of hurt and resentment. Slow down! That would be my advice to a couple who is on the brink of divorce or separation. So many couples rush towards a break-up or divorce rather than taking the time to work through their issues and see what might be possible to save the marriage. In other words, they are better prepared for life after divorce if they first try everything possible to make the marriage work.
Yet most couples will not even do half of what is possible to save their marriage. People will often think that they have tried everything, but usually they are not even close to the many ways to save a marriage from divorce. It is often from a lack of imagination, or from feeling discouraged, that couples fall short of finding new possibilities for a life together.
Yet I try to offer hope that there are many ways to save the relationship which they might not have even considered.
Couples counseling offers an opportunity to find these new possibilities and create hope for renewal in a marriage. Somatic Therapy , Sacramento, CA. I think the most important thing to ask and explore is if each of [you] have ever been really married. If not, why not? Can't know if you really want a divorce unless you know in your heart you've been really married. Part two is about what your partner came in to your life to teach you or help you learn about yourself.
Do they know what that is?
The Marriage Decision: Everything Forever or Nothing Ever Again
If not, then [individuals] would benefit by figuring it out and looking deeply at themselves. They can get divorced, but my experience is they're simply going to attract the same issue with a different face unless they see their part. Get both your heart and your head in the frame of mind that says you are still fully invested in having a wonderful long-term relationship with your spouse. Once upon a time, you thought that your husband or wife was a wonderful partner for you. Rediscover the reasons you thought that was true. Then think about how long it has taken to get into this difficult spot and recognize that there is no quick fix for something that has taken so long to build.
Find the best marriage counselor you can possibly afford. Meet with the therapist regularly and do the assigned work in between sessions. Life can be good and wonderful together! Honor your wife's dreams.
- 30 relationship tips to fall back in love with your partner.
- The Single Question That Will Save Your Marriage (Growing in Love for Life Series Book 4).
- You're in. Please check your email.!
- Almost Human (Gay Fiction)?
- TWO SHORT (QUITE SCARY) STORIES FOR CHILDREN.
Men have a tendency to bulldoze their agenda in relationships which results in the wife feeling unheard and unknown. By honoring her dreams it demonstrates the value that she has and that she brings to the relationship. Too many husbands couldn't even answer the question of what their wife's dreams are, but are more than happy to insist on their own dreams. Addressing this issue may feel like giving up power within the relationship, but I would argue that it is only power that has been gained Note from Joe: this quote can apply to both men and women. As a mediator, I've got to be neutral!
A marriage can be saved when two people stop thinking about themselves and their feelings and instead focus on the relationship. When partners focus on the WE, they are doing so because their overriding concern transcends each of them in favor of the relationship. So end the battle of right and wrong and you'll be able to count on right actions creating all the right feelings to make a marriage work. Stopping the fight is what truly empowers us and creates a win. The WE wins when neither partner plays the blame game and when being close is more important than being right.
Think of it this way: the WE is the home team, and when the WE wins, each member of the team benefits. Many couples experience relational pain mostly because they are lacking ample knowledge about each other. Sometimes, familiarity begets apathy. The best antidote to growing callousness is to rekindle curiosity about each other.
Surprisingly, many couples have not taken the time to get to know each other more deeply via proactively consistent efforts. More often than not, conflict emerges from not knowing completely which invariably leads to misunderstanding. As [couples and a therapist] work together, [they] are jointly unraveling this shocking mystery.
If and when couples are willing to invest necessary time and patience in allowing this process to unfold, a new possibility can transpire. What was once construed as irreconcilable differences could be turned into a transformative opportunity to learn and reconnect at a whole different level of empathy and understanding. This learning process alone can be truly eye-opening for many couples and can be instrumental in how to save a failing marriage by inviting them to a new chapter of their relationship.
It is defensiveness that broadcasts a lack of power. When each person is trying to get the other understand their point of view, the arguing rarely ceases. So, you be the first to hit these 3 points BEFORE you ask the other to listen to your explanations or reasons and point of view. A relationship is made up of a system that requires change from both partners. When each person is solely focused on what is needed from the other, it is hard to break a problematic sequence. Rather than holding a primary focus on what is lacking from your partner, work towards looking within yourself towards positive change and growth.
Tobin Counseling Chicago. First, take an honest appraisal of what you can offer to the marriage as well as what you are asking from your partner. If you want to make this work, there must be a commitment to doing the work. This includes re-learning the meaning of trust. Ask yourself the question how much you trust your partner. Usually, you both want the same thing. Allow yourself to trust them more and you will feel them trusting you more. There will be — and should be — ups and downs to get to a healthier relationship. Bottom line, each partner needs to keep working on themselves.
One of the biggest changes I suggest is to have more goals for yourself then you do for your spouse. Amazing how that works…. In fact, it's changes made by just one of the spouses that brings about marital change. Of course it depends on the issues, but even with infidelity couples, I've seen this work. Again, my advice to the one who wants to save the marriage is to work on self and get back to the essence of who they are with no expectations of their spouse.
At the very least, the person going at it alone can choose to address their personal issues and grow as a result.
The Marriage Decision: Everything Forever or Nothing Ever Again
If I only had one piece of guidance to offer you if you're looking for ways to save your marriage it would be to ask yourself: "How am I responsible? Often times, couples will blame each other or sense a stalemate or block [with] no way to move forward. We typically aren't capable of figuring it out ourselves seeing as we are in the middle of it, so calling a therapist is a great idea to see whether your marriage is salvageable. I right away look for both parties willing to take some responsibility. Sometimes one person or even both partners feel there is no hope and feel counseling is a waste of time, especially if one spouse refuses to attend.
They should approach it with the idea to learn about themselves and see their marriage as an experience contributing to their growth…We need to learn to be happy with ourselves which takes a lifetime and not expect others to make us happy. Often when people fall in love, they show their best qualities and decide to marry based on these.
People should also see the flaws of each other and more importantly accept them. I think fear is a major source of how people react especially with those they are most intimate with and marriage is one the of most intimate experience bringing out our most vulnerable selves. I also think we give up easily as we live in a disposable society where things are constantly replaced. We learn in our family of origin how to be in relationships and often we take these patterns into other relationships including marriage.
Both involve trust and self-reflection, qualities which often require us to check our pride at the door. In order to maintain trust in a marriage, each partner needs to not only be honest, but transparent. Transparency, on the other hand, requires a couple to share openly and honestly on multiple levels, allowing for vulnerability with the hope of creating a deeper sense of intimacy. This type of intimacy will not only help maintain a healthy relationship but also repair one as well. True intimacy involves self-reflection and transparency, both of which play a role in accountability.
Silent discontent breeds resentment, distance, and marital discord. Be proactive in maintaining the health of your marriage, it will be worth the time and effort every time. Ambre Associates , Glenview, IL. I think that the one piece of advice I would give to a couple working toward saving a marriage is to start paying attention to the TONE with which that say things to each other. Someone can say all the right words, but if their tone is condescending or flippant or disrespectful in some way, the words won't mean a thing.
I have noticed in my work that the couples who stay together speak to each other in a gentle and respectful tone of voice. They say "please" and "thank you" to each other and genuinely appreciate what the other brings to the relationship. By the time couples are contemplating divorce , they may be experiencing failed communication, including frequent arguments or avoidance of each other. However, many partners are still hopeful that they can save their marriage.
Think about when the relationship was thriving and how you both communicated best. Try to avoid language filled with contempt, hurtful, defensive and argumentative comments. The Center of Connected Living , Ft. Lauderdale, FL. My advice to couples who are considering a divorce is to realize that a series of small decisions over a long period of time led to the disconnect, and that new small positive decisions can lead to a greater sense of connectedness. Small positive decisions taken on a daily basis include refraining from criticizing your spouse, and instead, letting your spouse know one thing you appreciate about them.
Critiquing, judging, comparing your spouse leads to a breakdown in trust and an increase in defensiveness. We can all agree that marriage is full of fun and amazing times together, yet it most definitely has its challenges as well. A piece of advice I would give clients on how to save a marriage on the brink of divorce is to make sure they communicate the best they can. Effective communication is key to a healthy relationship. Through counselling, the therapist can assist couples to recognize some of their differences or gridlocked conflicts, as they move from being stuck in a situation with continuous arguments into a more healthier and effective manner of communicating with one another.
Kitsilano Fairview Life Counselling. Often families are ripped apart when an affair is discovered, even when the extramarital relationship was insignificant and short lived. What if it was the combination of action and reaction that led to the divorce and the family missed the opportunity for growth and forgiveness? Perhaps the wound infidelity inflicted could have been healed if the betrayed partner had been more curious about their partner and the dynamic they co-created before the partner strayed.
It can result in the stigmatization of a human being without trying to understand them more deeply. You may need to take time to gain more understanding before moving into a divorce process that could unravel your family. Therapeutic Life Counselling. Contemplating separation and divorce can be an extremely confusing time.