Manual Man Talk About Women

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The website bechdeltest. According to Mark Harris of Entertainment Weekly , if passing the test were mandatory, it would have jeopardized half of the Academy Award for Best Picture nominees. Writer Charles Stross noted that about half of the films that do pass the test only do so because the women talk about marriage or babies.

The television series Sex and the City highlights its own failure to pass the test by having one of the four female main characters ask: "How does it happen that four such smart women have nothing to talk about but boyfriends? It's like seventh grade with bank accounts! Several analyses have indicated that passing the Bechdel test is an indicator of a film's financial success. It found that the films that passed the test had about a 37 percent higher return on investment ROI in the United States, and the same ROI internationally, compared to films that did not pass the test. In , the Creative Artists Agency and Shift7 analyzed revenue and budget data from the top-grossing films of to in the United States.

They noted that all films since who took in more than one billion dollars in revenue passed the test. Explanations that have been offered as to why many films fail the Bechdel test include the relative lack of gender diversity among scriptwriters [10] and other movie professionals, also called the " celluloid ceiling ": In , one in six of the directors, writers, and producers behind the most commercially successful movies in the United States was a woman.

Writing in National Review in , film critic Kyle Smith suggested that the reason for the Bechdel test results was that "Hollywood movies are about people on the extremes of society — cops, criminals, superheroes — [which] tend to be men", and that such films were more often created by men because "women's movie ideas", mostly about relationships according to Smith, "aren't commercial enough for Hollywood studios". Rowling , Margaret Atwood and Nnedi Okorafor among others as counter-examples.

The Bechdel test only indicates whether women are present in a work of fiction to a certain degree. A work may pass the test and still contain sexist content, and a work with prominent female characters may fail the test. Gravity , which has only two named characters appear on screen in total.

For example, the Sir Mix-a-Lot song " Baby Got Back " has been described as passing the Bechdel test, because it begins with a valley girl saying to another "oh my god, Becky, look at her butt". In an attempt at a quantitative analysis of works as to whether they pass the test, at least one researcher, Faith Lawrence, noted that the results depend on how rigorously the test is applied. One of the questions arising from its application is whether a reference to a man at any point within a conversation that also covers other topics invalidates the entire exchange.

Regardless, the question remains how one defines the start and end of a conversation.

In response to its increasing ubiquity in film criticism, the Bechdel test has been criticized for not taking into account the quality of the works it tests bad films may pass it, and good ones fail , or as a "nefarious plot to make all movies conform to feminist dogma". Where Bechdel and Wallace expressed it as simply a way to point out the rote, unthinkingly normative plotlines of mainstream film, these days passing it has somehow become synonymous with 'being feminist'.

It was never meant to be a measure of feminism, but rather a cultural barometer. Similarly, the critic Alyssa Rosenberg expressed concern that the Bechdel test could become another "fig leaf" for the entertainment industry, who could just "slap a few lines of dialogue onto a hundred-and-forty-minute compilation of CGI explosions" to pass off the result as feminist. The Telegraph film critic Robbie Collin disapproved of the test as prizing "box-ticking and stat-hoarding over analysis and appreciation", and suggested that the underlying problem of the lack of well-drawn female characters in film ought to be a topic of discourse, rather than individual films failing or passing the Bechdel test.

Nina Power wrote that the test raises the questions of whether fiction has a duty to represent women rather than to pursue whatever the creator's own agenda might be and to be "realistic" in the representation of women. She also wrote that it remained to be determined how often real life passes the Bechdel test, and what the influence of fiction on that might be. The Bechdel test has inspired others, notably feminist and antiracist critics and fans, to formulate criteria for evaluating works of fiction, in part because of the Bechdel test's limitations.

The "Mako Mori test", formulated by Tumblr user "Chaila" [56] and named after the only significant female character of the film Pacific Rim , asks whether a female character has a narrative arc that is not about supporting a man's story. The "Sphinx test" by the Sphinx theater company of London asks about the interaction of women with other characters, as well as how prominently female characters feature in the action, how proactive or reactive they are, and whether they are portrayed stereotypically.

It asks: Does the film contain a character that is identifiably LGBT, and is not solely or predominantly defined by their sexual orientation or gender identity, as well as tied into the plot in such a way that their removal would have a significant effect? A test proposed by TV critic Eric Deggans asks whether a film that is not about race has at least two non-white characters in the main cast, [52] and similarly, writer Nikesh Shukla proposed a test about whether "two ethnic minorities talk to each other for more than five minutes about something other than race.

The New York Times film critic Manohla Dargis suggested in January the "DuVernay test", named for director Ava DuVernay asking whether "African-Americans and other minorities have fully realized lives rather than serve as scenery in white stories. The Bechdel test has also inspired gender-related tests for nonfiction. Source code passes this test if it contains a function written by a woman developer which calls a function written by a different woman developer.

The Bechdel test also inspired the Finkbeiner test , a checklist to help journalists to avoid gender bias in articles about women in science. From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia. A measure of the representation of women in fiction. Archived from the original on Retrieved Retrieved 26 August Media, Margins and Popular Culture.

Retrieved 10 June Retrieved 19 August Thomas, Stephen ed. The University of Adelaide Library. University of Adelaide Press. Retrieved 24 December Films, —". Journal of Adolescent Health. Chicago Tribune. Archived from the original on 24 September Retrieved 22 September With reference to: Smith, Stacy L.

See Jane. Retrieved 16 April Retrieved 6 August Ideally Jake would start talking about his job the moment he starts to feel disgruntled and keep it up as his thoughts evolve.

Conversation Examples

Guys, instead, are tempted to deliver only the punchlines. Proactively, give her regular updates on the state of your mind. Just listening would be great. Note to woman: Listening is good. Your emotion or criticism will cause him to pull away and go back into his cave, or cause him to worry about fixing you and your concerns, and distract him from figuring out his own emotions and solutions. He is trying to sort out his problem. Ask how you can help. So to summarize: Women, break it down, listen. Guys listen, make noises to let her know you are listening, slow down, let her know what is going on in your head.

And when it is working, when the other guy is doing it right, let em know. Personally I think that some things should come naturally. Even this subject "How to talk to a man; How to talk to a woman" only confuses humans. Nowadays there is a guide on every step, about how you should walk, talk, act etc. Media is full of it, "do this", "do that".

On news, on advertisements, on the radio, on billboards. The problem is that what comes naturally to a man is not what comes naturally to a woman. Try putting yourself into the other's shoes and attempt to experience what they experience, then treat them the way they want to be treated, not the way you want to be treated. Henry You must have been asleep while reading the article. Does it not tell you that if men and women stick to their "natural" way of communicating, it will NOT work.

That's why advice, such as in this article is welcome. The mainstream media paint a different story, the kind that is usually void of any true merit and what kind of a moron takes advice from advertisements??? You can't be serious. You'd do well to ban any advice media gives from your thoughts.

Bechdel test

Robert Apologies but schools hardly teach anything that can be appied in daily life situations. They preffer to cram your mind with all sorts of trivia that you will forget completely in about 2 years. It's hardly the teachers fault though, they're just following curriculum. God forbid they taught children about life, they'd be out on the street as soon as the word got out to the childrens parents. You clearly missed my point about the subliminal side that I was talking about.

Maybe it's because my native language is different and I did not express myself quite understandably. But I can see that we have different perceptions when it comes to "natural" way of communicating. Well I would assume your point was humans should have figured this out by themselves. Well in theory yes, in theory humans should figure out a whole myriad of other things aswell, however, in practice that is not so. Many humans struggle to see past their emotions and are incapable of rationally analyzing the situation they're in.

As a result an unfortunate result a vast majority of people is unaware of even the basic principles of human psychology. While this topic may seem clear, perhaps even obvious to you and me, we are in fact a minority. It's not that they should just figure it out by themselves, yes and no. But it's just a matter of approach how you present that information for them. In my opinion, these shortcut guides and "howto" instructions are not really something that will really educate people. Because there is a total overflow of this "howto" information. Majority of people don't know how to filter that flow, and then they just let themselves to be lead by it.

It's like constant fighting with consequences, placing all the energy into wrong place, and then only creating more of these consequences by that. People are vulnerable against this large amount of information, and start relying more and more on that. And at the same time, only more of these "instructions" are being generated. I'm not saying that it is completely wrong to give out information and guide people.

Because yes it can be useful in some situations, if you know how to filter that information and see the bigger picture of it. That way you understand the basics and don't let yourself to be lead by it completely. It's like when you use a calculator, to solve some complex task. This calculator helps you, but also at the same time, you yourself understand the basics of how these numbers work. But if you start relying more on this calculator, and use it to solve more simpler tasks, that you would usually calculate naturally in your head.

Then you start relying more and more on that calculator, that "outside information". And now for example, when you give that calculator to a first grade student. And if there is a whole world, full of these "calculators". So in conclusion, when looking at bigger picture of it all. And like you mentioned, majority of humans are unaware of basic psychology. But feeding them with those shortcut, quick fix "howto" solutions, in my opinion is not really solving anything. It's only spoiling them.

It's no wonder that sometimes one of the most "real" personalities, are those who have been most isolated from the outside world and it's massive information flow. Cannot imagine a Buddhist monk reading a book about "how to fight depression" or "10 steps how to effectively communicate with people". I suppose we can agree then, that it should be back to basics and understanding core principles as oppose to being taught more complex ideas without any knowledge on which these ideas or "howto" instructions were founded.

In my interaction with not only past girlfriends but also with my mother, I have seen this dynamic play out. They are telling a story and I'm struggling to stay tuned-in enough to all the specific details to event care when the punchline comes it was around one While I tell them a story and they keep pressing for details, what did he say when I told my boss that I was taking a personal day, how did he look etc etc. I read 'Women from Venus, men from Mars' saw this concept, tried it out and I was amazed how well women reacted to me just listening and offering no advice whatsoever.

They were sort of insulted by the advice sometimes and other times they were frustrated because I had forced them to skip over the stage of 'processing' the issues for themselves and was basically saying that they were not 'action-oriented' enough, they used to hold back info from me in order to avoid being berated for 'not taking action. I realize though that once you let women vent, then you can later on , probe gently on 'so what do you feel should be your next step dear?

All women secretly or openly feel that all men think they are incompetent, they are super-sensitive to any sign of male 'controlling. Finally in this long, un-manlike epistle , is the realization I made that many of these 'problems' women talk about are not really considered problems in their minds. They put it over in a particular way to add excitement to the story. So their 'best friend' is secretly 'jealous of all her success in life, since they were small' and a man stupidly says 'so why in de hell is she your best friend?

I loved the article. If guys are tuning out because they are overwhelmed with both listening and trying to pick about the conversation for his own benefit to fix the problem so he doesn't have to hear it any more, to make her feel better, not for her sake, but so that ultimately HE can feel better.


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The also don't feel the need to discuss things with their partner's especially if it's something that impacts them both and to come to a decision without any communication is selfish. You trying to set the conversation on YOUR terms when you should be on the terms of the person trying to communicate. What on Earth are you on about? If you hate the male sterotype, fine, I hate it too. But don't project your own dissatisfaction with men on the entire male population. With my boy-friend who simply loved to give unwanted advice, which was insulting to me, because it felt like neglecting my feelings about which I simply wanted to talk I have made a very simple deal:.

When you understand what's bothering you and the other person gets it.

I Am Embarrassed By How Much I Am Affected By the Way Men Talk About Women

Clearly you have not met someone who wouldn't get it. You should consider yourself lucky :. All that womb-shit is nuts. It's like having an exploding, insane blood-bag of pain up in your business end — nothing really prepares you for when it all kicks off. One day, you're just a kid on your bike. The next, you're suddenly having to wedge a tiny Barbie mattress in your knickers, crying while you watch Bergerac , and eating Nurofen Plus like they're Tic Tacs.

Men, imagine if, some time around your 12th birthday, some manner of viscous liquid — let's say gravy — suddenly appeared in your pants, in the middle of a maths lesson. And then it turned up every month for the next 30 years. You'd be all like "NO! We're not wise, or in touch with nature, or down with it. We're just people with a whole load more laundry issues than you. Have you ever tried to scrub blood out of a Premier Inn sheet at 6am, using just travel shampoo and your toothbrush? It's one of the defining aspects of being a woman.

Speaking up against sexual harassment is still too risky for most women | Louise Taylor

Likewise, imagine accidentally getting pregnant at 16, then having to run past a barrage of anti-abortion protestors outside your local clinic, all holding up pictures of dead foetuses. We're not dealing with this in a special, noble lady-way. Here's another thing we're too embarrassed to say: we'd love it if a big bunch of pro-choice men turned up at these clinics, and helped escort the scared women in. That would be some top bro solidarity.

THIS Is How To Talk To Girls And Spark Attraction (This is how a woman wants you to talk to her)

In the last year or so, we saw this study, from America, and it broke our hearts a bit, because it explains so much: in a mixed-gender group, when women talk 25 per cent of the time or less, it's seen as being "equally balanced". And if women talk 25—50 per cent of the time, they're seen as "dominating the conversation". It is MEN who are being silenced", and it all made sense. We're scared. We don't want to mention it, because it's kind of a bummer, chat-wise, and we'd really like to talk about stuff that makes us happy, like look at our daughters — and we can't help but think, "Which one of us?

And when? We move in packs — because it's safer. We talk to each other for hours on the phone — to share knowledge. But we don't want to go on about it to you, because that would be morbid. We just feel anxious. Given the figures, we can't sometimes help but feel we're just… waiting for the bad thing to come. Because that would be a realistic thing to think, and we like to be prepared. Awfully, horribly, fearfully prepared. We're tired. So, so tired. From the moment we grew our tits, we've been cat-called in the street; commented on by relatives "Ooooh, she's big-boned"; "Well, you'll be a heart-breaker" as if we weren't standing there in front of them, hearing all this.

We've seen our biggest female role-models and icons shamed in the press, over and over: computers hacked and nude pictures released; sex-tapes released. So we know even success, and money, will not protect us from the humiliation of simply being a woman. We know we must have our babies when we're young — the eggs are running out! So that makes us tired. This is why, maybe, women can become suddenly furious — why online discussions about feminism suddenly ignite into rage. Tired, scared people are apt to lash out.

Anger is just fear, brought to the boil.

What Do Women Like to Talk About With Men? | The Modern Man

We masturbate as much as you do. One of the few times I have been personally offended was when Martin Amis commented on a column I wrote about female masturbation. Obviously, I am noble enough to recognise that Amis is from an older generation — one whose women, by and large, did not feel comfortable discussing their sexuality in any great detail. But it does seem amazing that a clever, well-travelled man, whose job it is to examine the human condition, and who had a pretty steamy relationship with Germaine Greer at one point, has never realised that women can be just as driven by their desire as men.

I'm gonna be honest with you — for the first five years of my adult life, most of my decisions were made by the contents of my pants. If I had not discovered masturbation, I would have spent the majority of my time sitting on shed roofs, like a cat on heat, yowling at the moon. If a young woman isn't to go mad, then masturbation is a needful hobby, as vital as going on long country walks, to get a bit of air in your lungs, and pursuing the revolution. And what a hobby it is! It doesn't cost anything, it doesn't make you fat, you can knock it off in five minutes flat if you think about Han Solo, or some monkeys "doing it" on an Attenborough documentary, and it means you can face the world with a kind of stoned, post-coital cheerfulness that would otherwise require Valium, or constant spa-breaks.

There's a reason why God designed our bodies so that, when we lie down in bed, our hands naturally come to rest on our genitals. It's the Lord's way of saying, "Go on, have a fiddle.


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Find out how you work. And then, when you go out into the world, you won't be waiting for some bloke to come along and have sex on you. You'll be in the sex, too. It'll be like this… joint endeavour?